Friends: I hope you will read this wonderfully crafted, Biblically sound statement in favor of gay marriage by former Miss California Nicole Lamarche, a Pacific School of Religion graduate who is now a UCC minister in Massachusetts.
Peace, Grant F. Sontagrainbowrev@comcast.net
http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=75378698854&h=E5TMd&u=p2Y5A&ref=nf
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Enya
In the 90's someone introduced me to the New Age music of the Irish singer Enya and I fell in love with it. When I went for an MRI in February of '96 I took a CD with me as a friend suggested I do that as a way of drowning out the hammering noise of the machine (it sounds like a jackhammer in your ears). The radiology tech piped the music in, adjusted the volume to my satisfaction, and off we went. He liked the music so much he wrote down the info off the jacket.
Months later as I lay in the hospital following the removal of a tumor which the MRI had confirmed, a friend brought in a portable CD and Enya comforted me again. The CD went with me to the rehab hospital where I spent three months following the stroke that occurred after the removal of the (benign) tumor. Again the melodies soothed me off to sleep at night.
When I returned home from the hospital and clicked on "Play" to listen again, this time Enya's voice filled me with anxiety as it brought echoes of the stroke. In time my anxiety subsided and now I can listen again in peace and gratitude. Thank you Enya.
Months later as I lay in the hospital following the removal of a tumor which the MRI had confirmed, a friend brought in a portable CD and Enya comforted me again. The CD went with me to the rehab hospital where I spent three months following the stroke that occurred after the removal of the (benign) tumor. Again the melodies soothed me off to sleep at night.
When I returned home from the hospital and clicked on "Play" to listen again, this time Enya's voice filled me with anxiety as it brought echoes of the stroke. In time my anxiety subsided and now I can listen again in peace and gratitude. Thank you Enya.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Tzu Chi
Most of what I have learned about Christianity since Sunday School has left me with the impression that this is the religion that cares - about other people and all of God's creation. In the United Church of Christ, my denomination, we aim especially to help especially those who suffer or are victims of injustice. While it is never stated as such, I have gotten the impression that "we" do this at the exclusion of much of the rest of Christendom. In fact,I don't recall being specifically informed about the benevolence of traditions other than my own. My eyes were opened the other night by a sign in a restaurant window that read, ".. To let go is actually to receive boundless happiness." - Tzu Chi Foundation. Wondering what this foundation was, I looked it up and discovered it is a spiritual organization devoted to relieving the suffering of Taiwan's impoverished East coast. You can read more about it here: http://www.tzuchi.org/global/about/index.html
Thursday, February 26, 2009
"Lenting" Go of Resentments
First off, let me admit that I am a person who harbors resentments all too readily. The Oxford English Dictionary definition speaks for me: Resentment: 1. "An indignant sense of injury or insult received or perceived..." 2. "A negative attitude towards society or authority arising, often unconsciously, from an aggressive envy and hostility, frustrated by a feeling of inferiority or impotence."
The word itself is derived from the French for re + sentiment, or, to re-feel, to feel again. I can testify to my own tendency to re-feel slights, real or imagined. What I don't understand (yet) is why anyone would want to keep on feeling something that is uncomfortable (and has proven ill consequences for one's health). The only thing I can come up with is that it's like picking at a scab - you know you're not supposed to, and in a way you don't even want to, because it's painful and could cause bleeding or lead to infection. And yet there's a sort of perverse satisfaction at continuing to pick at that scab - to re-feel the sensation, even if it's one of pain.
Last Sunday when I arrived at church - late, as usual - I saw in the bulletin that the preacher was the youth minister and I was disappointed because, truth to tell, I didn't think she was all that good the first time I heard her. However, as God is wont to do in trying to get through to us, the minister's message was just what I needed to hear. She observed that Lent begins this week and that, traditionally, people decide to give up something in order to prepare for Holy Week and Easter coming 40 days from now. Typical things one might give up include rich foods (chocolate!), alcohol, tobacco, and even one's money in the form of donations to help those less fortunate. But what if, the youth minister posited, we decided to give up some of our resentments during Lent? Brilliant! I decided then and there that I would do just that, and in fact I let go of a resentment I had recently cultivated toward a family member who had not yet acknowledged an act of kindness toward him on my part.
One spiritual practice I've learned to engage in when feeling resentful is to pray for that person and so that is what I have been doing. What a wonderful - and welcome - surprise awaited me the next time I turned on my computer and checked for messages, because right there in front of me was a thank you note from the family member in question. No more resentment on my part, and clearly not on his. So, what are you giving up for Lent?
The word itself is derived from the French for re + sentiment, or, to re-feel, to feel again. I can testify to my own tendency to re-feel slights, real or imagined. What I don't understand (yet) is why anyone would want to keep on feeling something that is uncomfortable (and has proven ill consequences for one's health). The only thing I can come up with is that it's like picking at a scab - you know you're not supposed to, and in a way you don't even want to, because it's painful and could cause bleeding or lead to infection. And yet there's a sort of perverse satisfaction at continuing to pick at that scab - to re-feel the sensation, even if it's one of pain.
Last Sunday when I arrived at church - late, as usual - I saw in the bulletin that the preacher was the youth minister and I was disappointed because, truth to tell, I didn't think she was all that good the first time I heard her. However, as God is wont to do in trying to get through to us, the minister's message was just what I needed to hear. She observed that Lent begins this week and that, traditionally, people decide to give up something in order to prepare for Holy Week and Easter coming 40 days from now. Typical things one might give up include rich foods (chocolate!), alcohol, tobacco, and even one's money in the form of donations to help those less fortunate. But what if, the youth minister posited, we decided to give up some of our resentments during Lent? Brilliant! I decided then and there that I would do just that, and in fact I let go of a resentment I had recently cultivated toward a family member who had not yet acknowledged an act of kindness toward him on my part.
One spiritual practice I've learned to engage in when feeling resentful is to pray for that person and so that is what I have been doing. What a wonderful - and welcome - surprise awaited me the next time I turned on my computer and checked for messages, because right there in front of me was a thank you note from the family member in question. No more resentment on my part, and clearly not on his. So, what are you giving up for Lent?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Jewish Humor
Remember the Jewish Catskill comics of Vaudeville days, such as Shecky Green, Red Buttons, Totie Fields, Milton Berle, Henny Youngman, and many others? They had a great gift for humor... and not one single swear word in their comedy. Here are some examples of their work:
* There was a beautiful young woman knocking on my hotel room door all night! I finally had to let her out.
* A car hit an elderly Jewish man. T he paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."
* I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
* I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!
* We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
* My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night; only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
* My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
* She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
* The doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.
* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"
* Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I AM 60!" Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"
* A doctor holds a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"
* Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears." Doctor: "Don't answer!"
* A drunk is in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started."
* A bum asked a Jewish fellow, "Give me $10 till payday." The Jewish fellow responded, "When's payday?" The bum said, "I don't know! You're the one that's working!"
* Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
* I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
* The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backwards is Not Now.
* There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.
* Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink? A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
* Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers? A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.
* A man called his mother in Florida, "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good, "said the mother, "I've been very weak." The son said, "Why are you so weak?" She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days." The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?" The mother answered, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."
* A Jewish boy comes ho me from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play. She asks, "What part is it? The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband." The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."
* Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? A: (Sigh) "Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody."
* Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady I haven't eaten in three days." "Force yourself," she replied.
* Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother? A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.
* Short summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat.
* There was a beautiful young woman knocking on my hotel room door all night! I finally had to let her out.
* A car hit an elderly Jewish man. T he paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."
* I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
* I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!
* We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
* My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night; only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
* My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
* She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
* The doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.
* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"
* Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I AM 60!" Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"
* A doctor holds a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"
* Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears." Doctor: "Don't answer!"
* A drunk is in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started."
* A bum asked a Jewish fellow, "Give me $10 till payday." The Jewish fellow responded, "When's payday?" The bum said, "I don't know! You're the one that's working!"
* Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
* I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
* The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backwards is Not Now.
* There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.
* Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink? A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
* Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers? A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.
* A man called his mother in Florida, "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good, "said the mother, "I've been very weak." The son said, "Why are you so weak?" She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days." The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?" The mother answered, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."
* A Jewish boy comes ho me from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play. She asks, "What part is it? The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband." The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."
* Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? A: (Sigh) "Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody."
* Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady I haven't eaten in three days." "Force yourself," she replied.
* Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother? A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.
* Short summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Depression
I suffer from depression, something of course I don't like, but I'm not ashamed to admit it. Beginning in adolescence, then through college and beyond, I had what I call garden variety depression - a general sense of unhappiness about my life and myself. I began no see a psychiatrist during my sophomore year in college because I was so torn up inside that I was spending hours a day on my dorm bed curled up in the fetal position. Depression is exhausting; it strips you of energy and enthusiasm. And it's not just about feeling down; it's classified by health professionals as a mental illness.
In my twenties I would have said that depression is something that's kind of in the air - like what was called vapors in the Middle Ages. I know now that it is really about brain chemistry.
In 1996 I suffered a massive stroke, after which I became despondent, obsessing about being disabled and then deciding I wanted to end my life. I had what used to be called a nervous breakdown. My psychiatrist put me in the psych unit ("mental ward") until I could get well enough to return home. She said the reason that people who are suicidal are put in the hospital is so that they will be safe and their medications can be monitored, and adjusted if necessary. I was already taking Effexor, the drug we settled on after I tried - and rejected - Paxil and Zoloft. Dr. F. told me that even though I had a depressive personality before the stroke, I now suffered from post-stroke depression, an entirely distinct clinical diagnosis. I still suffer from it, twelve years after the blood clot lodged in the right parietal lobe of my brain. And even though with the help of therapy and medication I have achieved some degree of normalcy, every once in a while the bottom drops out again - as it did last night.
I don't know what happened, but after I went to bed I couldn't stop obsessing about my life being of little worth (note: this is not the same as feeling suicidal. I KNOW what that feels like and I know to get help if that happens). The ironic thing is that just yesterday I received praise of the highest order from several different people I interact with personally and professionally. They just think Grant is the greatest, but inside I don't feel so great - I just want to crawl in a hole and hide. I ended up lying in bed awake all night until 7:00 a.m., at which time I called a friend and told him how rotten I felt. He asked what about, and I ended up spouting off about how I was in the best physical condition of my life in 1996. I worked out every day on my lunch hour, using Cybex machines for muscle, lap swimming for aerobics, and tennis for the sheer fun of it. And there I was, playing sets on the rooftop courts at the Athletic Club at One Cleveland Center, and other men watching me play would actually approach me and ask if I would play them. Since the rule of thumb in tennis, like other sports, is to find someone at or above your level of play, I was obviously being approached by men who either thought I was as good as they were or better than they were. Something like this had never happened in my life before. In sports since junior High I was always the skinny unco-ordinated one who didn't know the rules, would drop the ball, or get killed playing defense. When I quit high school PE to join the tennis team I felt liberated. I practiced and practiced and practiced - and the main friend I played with was a classmate who was just enough better than I was that we both got a good workout when playing matches.
So last night I'm lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark, and obsessing on my losses instead of focusing on my gains. It was a real bitch. Fortunately I have tools to help me and I know how to use them. So I can say now, twenty four hours after the clouds moved in, I am feeling just enough better to take an Ambien and go to bed, listening to some soft music, wondering what the morning will bring.
In my twenties I would have said that depression is something that's kind of in the air - like what was called vapors in the Middle Ages. I know now that it is really about brain chemistry.
In 1996 I suffered a massive stroke, after which I became despondent, obsessing about being disabled and then deciding I wanted to end my life. I had what used to be called a nervous breakdown. My psychiatrist put me in the psych unit ("mental ward") until I could get well enough to return home. She said the reason that people who are suicidal are put in the hospital is so that they will be safe and their medications can be monitored, and adjusted if necessary. I was already taking Effexor, the drug we settled on after I tried - and rejected - Paxil and Zoloft. Dr. F. told me that even though I had a depressive personality before the stroke, I now suffered from post-stroke depression, an entirely distinct clinical diagnosis. I still suffer from it, twelve years after the blood clot lodged in the right parietal lobe of my brain. And even though with the help of therapy and medication I have achieved some degree of normalcy, every once in a while the bottom drops out again - as it did last night.
I don't know what happened, but after I went to bed I couldn't stop obsessing about my life being of little worth (note: this is not the same as feeling suicidal. I KNOW what that feels like and I know to get help if that happens). The ironic thing is that just yesterday I received praise of the highest order from several different people I interact with personally and professionally. They just think Grant is the greatest, but inside I don't feel so great - I just want to crawl in a hole and hide. I ended up lying in bed awake all night until 7:00 a.m., at which time I called a friend and told him how rotten I felt. He asked what about, and I ended up spouting off about how I was in the best physical condition of my life in 1996. I worked out every day on my lunch hour, using Cybex machines for muscle, lap swimming for aerobics, and tennis for the sheer fun of it. And there I was, playing sets on the rooftop courts at the Athletic Club at One Cleveland Center, and other men watching me play would actually approach me and ask if I would play them. Since the rule of thumb in tennis, like other sports, is to find someone at or above your level of play, I was obviously being approached by men who either thought I was as good as they were or better than they were. Something like this had never happened in my life before. In sports since junior High I was always the skinny unco-ordinated one who didn't know the rules, would drop the ball, or get killed playing defense. When I quit high school PE to join the tennis team I felt liberated. I practiced and practiced and practiced - and the main friend I played with was a classmate who was just enough better than I was that we both got a good workout when playing matches.
So last night I'm lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark, and obsessing on my losses instead of focusing on my gains. It was a real bitch. Fortunately I have tools to help me and I know how to use them. So I can say now, twenty four hours after the clouds moved in, I am feeling just enough better to take an Ambien and go to bed, listening to some soft music, wondering what the morning will bring.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Inauguration benediction by the Rev. Joseph Lowery
God of our weary years, God of our silent tears, thou who has brought us thus far along the way, thou who has by thy might led us into the light, keep us forever in the path, we pray, lest our feet stray from the places, our God, where we met thee, lest our hearts, drunk with the wine of the world, we forget thee. Shadowed beneath thy hand may we forever stand -- true to thee, O God, and true to our native land.
We truly give thanks for the glorious experience we've shared this day. We pray now, O Lord, for your blessing upon thy servant, Barack Obama, the 44th president of these United States, his family and his administration. He has come to this high office at a low moment in the national and, indeed, the global fiscal climate. But because we know you got the whole world in your hand, we pray for not only our nation, but for the community of nations. Our faith does not shrink, though pressed by the flood of mortal ills.
For we know that, Lord, you're able and you're willing to work through faithful leadership to restore stability, mend our brokenness, heal our wounds and deliver us from the exploitation of the poor or the least of these and from favoritism toward the rich, the elite of these.
We thank you for the empowering of thy servant, our 44th president, to inspire our nation to believe that, yes, we can work together to achieve a more perfect union. And while we have sown the seeds of greed -- the wind of greed and corruption, and even as we reap the whirlwind of social and economic disruption, we seek forgiveness and we come in a spirit of unity and solidarity to commit our support to our president by our willingness to make sacrifices, to respect your creation, to turn to each other and not on each other.
And now, Lord, in the complex arena of human relations, help us to make choices on the side of love, not hate; on the side of inclusion, not exclusion; tolerance, not intolerance.
And as we leave this mountaintop, help us to hold on to the spirit of fellowship and the oneness of our family. Let us take that power back to our homes, our workplaces, our churches, our temples, our mosques, or wherever we seek your will.
Bless President Barack, First Lady Michelle. Look over our little, angelic Sasha and Malia.
We go now to walk together, children, pledging that we won't get weary in the difficult days ahead. We know you will not leave us alone, with your hands of power and your heart of love.
Help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nation shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors, when every man and every woman shall sit under his or her own vine and fig tree, and none shall be afraid; when justice will roll down like waters and righteousness as a mighty stream.
Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around -- (laughter) -- when yellow will be mellow -- (laughter) -- when the red man can get ahead, man -- (laughter) -- and when white will embrace what is right.
Let all those who do justice and love mercy say amen.
AUDIENCE: Amen!
REV. LOWERY: Say amen --
AUDIENCE: Amen!
REV. LOWERY: -- and amen.
AUDIENCE: Amen! (Cheers, applause.)
END.
We truly give thanks for the glorious experience we've shared this day. We pray now, O Lord, for your blessing upon thy servant, Barack Obama, the 44th president of these United States, his family and his administration. He has come to this high office at a low moment in the national and, indeed, the global fiscal climate. But because we know you got the whole world in your hand, we pray for not only our nation, but for the community of nations. Our faith does not shrink, though pressed by the flood of mortal ills.
For we know that, Lord, you're able and you're willing to work through faithful leadership to restore stability, mend our brokenness, heal our wounds and deliver us from the exploitation of the poor or the least of these and from favoritism toward the rich, the elite of these.
We thank you for the empowering of thy servant, our 44th president, to inspire our nation to believe that, yes, we can work together to achieve a more perfect union. And while we have sown the seeds of greed -- the wind of greed and corruption, and even as we reap the whirlwind of social and economic disruption, we seek forgiveness and we come in a spirit of unity and solidarity to commit our support to our president by our willingness to make sacrifices, to respect your creation, to turn to each other and not on each other.
And now, Lord, in the complex arena of human relations, help us to make choices on the side of love, not hate; on the side of inclusion, not exclusion; tolerance, not intolerance.
And as we leave this mountaintop, help us to hold on to the spirit of fellowship and the oneness of our family. Let us take that power back to our homes, our workplaces, our churches, our temples, our mosques, or wherever we seek your will.
Bless President Barack, First Lady Michelle. Look over our little, angelic Sasha and Malia.
We go now to walk together, children, pledging that we won't get weary in the difficult days ahead. We know you will not leave us alone, with your hands of power and your heart of love.
Help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nation shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors, when every man and every woman shall sit under his or her own vine and fig tree, and none shall be afraid; when justice will roll down like waters and righteousness as a mighty stream.
Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around -- (laughter) -- when yellow will be mellow -- (laughter) -- when the red man can get ahead, man -- (laughter) -- and when white will embrace what is right.
Let all those who do justice and love mercy say amen.
AUDIENCE: Amen!
REV. LOWERY: Say amen --
AUDIENCE: Amen!
REV. LOWERY: -- and amen.
AUDIENCE: Amen! (Cheers, applause.)
END.
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